Many of WWE's top stars are injured right now. Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, John Cena. It's depressing. Despite the depressing injury list, I'm making it my job to book the RTWM in a satisfying way. So, heeeere we go!
Royal Rumble 2016
Royal Rumble Qualifier - Fatal 4-Way Tag Team: Darren Young and Damien Sandow vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. The Ascension vs. Mark Henry and Jack Swagger: A match that's there just for the sake of being there. I want Young and Sandow to win because I want to see them actually DO SOMETHING WITH SANDOW! However, The Dudley Boyz have had their issues with The Wyatt Family and have been booked the best out of everyone else here, so that suggests a win for them.
Result: Mark Henry and Jack Swagger won. Well, they've been on TV too, so I guess it makes sense.
WWE Divas Championship: Charlotte (c) vs. Becky Lynch: One of the most bitter feuds in WWE writes a new chapter on January 24. These two were best friends when they arrived on the main roster together in the "Divas Revolution" (notice the quote marks). However, when Charlotte won the title, she began to take a little too much advice from her daddy, Ric Flair. Eventually, after Becky Lynch beat her in what was supposed to be a friendly non-title match, she attacked her best friend, showing her true colors. I expect this to be an excellent Divas matchup. However, I ultimately see Charlotte retaining her title due to interference from her daddy.
WWE Tag Team Championship: The New Day (c) vs. The Usos The New Day have been immensely entertaining as WWE Tag Team Championships, and have held a stranglehold on the titles since SummerSlam 2015. However, the Usos have been making a comeback run recently, and have earned a shot at the titles. The New Day have defended the titles against the Usos before, but that environment was completely different, as the Lucha Dragons were also involved. I predict a New Day victory here, because their skills merit a longer title run.
Result: The New Day retained as predicted. Maybe they can lose to someone else at WrestleMania to give them their Mania moment.
WWE United States Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Kalisto In one of Monday Night RAW's most shocking moments, the young upstart Kalisto won the title on the January 11 edition of RAW. However, assisted by King Barrett, Del Rio took the title back on SmackDown. Now, Kalisto invokes his rematch for the title. Kalisto is a great young worker, and is sure to make this match higher in quality. That being said, I see ADR retaining here. I'm doing this so that Kalisto can have a feel-good WrestleMania moment.
Result: Kalisto wins! I suppose he might have a Mania moment as a champion. This messes up my other plans, though.
WWE Intercontinental Championship - Last Man Standing: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Kevin Owens: Based on how these two have been fighting thus far, we are in for a slobberknocker! Dean Ambrose won the title at TLC 2015, and Kevin Owens has tried to best Ambrose ever since. They've agreed to this Last Man Standing match at the Royal Rumble. I expect this to be a highly competitive matchup. Ultimately, Dean comes out on top at the end. He's only recently won the title and deserves to keep it as of right now. Also, Kevin Owens' showings lately have suggested a push for him into the main event scene, but we'll get to that later.
Result: Dean Ambrose retained in what I'm sure was a great match.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship - Royal Rumble Match
Roman Reigns (c)
This is a very intriguing match with the addition of the WWE World Heavyweight title being on the line. We don't really have a main event set for 'Mania due to the unfortunate injury of Seth Rollins. Belief is, though, either Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar, Triple H or Bray Wyatt will walk out the winner. I too share this philosophy with one of these men.